You Are Enough

My beautiful baby girl took her first two steps this week. Two, tiny, tentative steps. My heart soared with pride! Then, it broke just a little too. Isn’t that one of the most astonishing, surprising things about parenthood? Who knew that your heart would break so often and so easily? Who knew what a vast range of emotions you would feel at any given moment?

My sweet A took two little baby steps. Two tiny steps away from me and into this big ‘ole world. Just the thought of it cracked my heart wide open. My A – she is a darling baby. Happy and sweet and so easy to love. I want to wrap her up and keep her safe and secure in my arms. I want to pack her away in a big ‘ole happy bubble with N, where they’ll both be safe, where nothing can hurt them. Huh. It reminds me of  “Finding Nemo”, when Marlin says, “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.” And, Dory responds brilliantly, saying, “Hmmm. That’s a funny thing to promise. You can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.” And, so, I’ll hold my breath and pray A LOT as she takes more and more steps on her own and out into her very own adventure …. And, I’ll be here. Holding her father’s hand and waiting and watching. I’ll be here. For her. For N. If they stumble, fall, feel lost, or want to hide away, I’ll be here. To tell them that they are enough. To tell them not to apologize for who they are. Be YOU, dear babies! You are aways enough to me!

 

One day, when the light falls and the darkness sets in,

You may wonder if you are enough.

You are.

You are always enough.

 

When kids are mean and the world seems hard,

You may wonder if you are enough.

You are.

You are always enough.

 

When you doubt yourself, when you doubt your truth,

You may wonder if you are enough.

You are.

You are always enough.

 

When a boy breaks your heart,

You may wonder why you weren’t enough for him to love.

You were. You are.

You are always enough.

 

When you feel lonely and don’t quite fit in,

You may wonder if you are enough.

You are.

You are always enough.

 

When things just aren’t quite right,

When you don’t feel pretty enough or tall enough or smart enough,

Even when you feel let down by life,

Remember that you are enough.

 

You are loved. You are adored.

I whisper it into the wind,

So that one day it may find you,

My love will always find you.

 

The beauty inside you,

Radiates from you,

You are SO much.

You are always, always enough.

 

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The Calling

Not to go all religious on y’all, but yes, let’s do that. It’s spring, after all, the season of renewal and rebirth. And, we just celebrated Easter. It’s such a special holiday, but one that I, unfortunately, generally, fail to truly ponder and reflect on just how significant it is. This year I felt a bit more … reflective, I suppose, for lack of a more creative word. Sometimes, don’t you just feel Him calling you, pulling you near? Don’t fight those feelings. FEEL them. Let Him tug at your heart. And then, just maybe, let yourself feel strong enough to go and do just what you feel led to be doing. Maybe it’s big. Maybe it’s little. Maybe it’s microscopic. It doesn’t matter. It’s in your heart for a reason. FEEL it.

The Calling

Sometimes your heart speaks softly,

Whispering your name, urging quietly,

It calls to you in peaceful slumber,

And in nights dark with mystery,

 

It seeks you out,

In days full of grace filled moments,

As in days when tears and rain,

Flood the only path home,

 

You feel it’s pull in soft waves,

When life stills,

And for a brief, yet miraculous second,

You listen,

 

Sometimes your heart speaks loudly,

Impatient for attention,

A voice from beyond beckons,

Forcing you to hear it’s gentle calling,

 

Fear finds you in this instance,

Pulling you back,

Towards a familiar place of comfort and ease,

Still … the mystery calls,

 

Desire takes over,

Running through you,

A deep longing to be filled with a warm, spiritual haze,

And you give in,

 

The voice in your heart surrounds you,

Covering everything you once knew,

It reveals itself,

A form you always knew was there,

 

It showers you with love,

Showing you at last, who you really are,

Knowing you fully and completely,

And finally, finally, you listen

 

And you follow.

I Imagine

Imagining my babies, as I awaited their arrival, was one of my favorite things about each of my pregnancies. Daydreaming about them was a “favorite-life-moment” for me. Imagining them. Imagining who they’d be and what we would share.

If you are anticipating the arrival of a little miracle, don’t stop daydreaming about them. But, just remember, no matter how you imagine them, no matter how you picture it … it will be so much better! The love you feel for them will take your every breath away. There is hard, sure, most definitely. But, let’s forget about that for a moment and cheers to the good, to the lovely. Here’s to motherhood!

I imagine

You will be like a great discovery,

Opening yourself to me,

Little by little,

Day by day,

I imagine

All the ways we will grow together,

You teaching me with spectacular wonder,

New eyes in which to see the world,

Such fresh perspective,

And creative grace,

I imagine,

Your beauty will astonish me,

Captivating my soul,

Captivating the very essence of who I am,

I imagine

Your face,

Picturing your daddy,

Picturing me,

Marveling at the pieces of us,

Reincarnated in your reflection,

I imagine

Such an amazing adventure of life for you,

A journey of magnificent joy,

Memories mixed between the pages,

Of daily smiles and holidays,

Laughter filling all the spaces of our hearts,

I imagine you…

                My baby-to-be

 

 

 

If Ever You Wonder

For our babies. For yours. For mine. For all of our little loves. If ever they wonder about love, about loss, about life. If ever they doubt this world. They should know how much they are loved. A mother’s love can live in the wind and the waves. It will always find them … If Ever They Wonder…

If ever a moment catches you,

A shadow in time chases you,

Causing you to wonder if love is real,

Think of me,

And know that it is,

Know that you are my heart,

My air, my smile,

Know that long before your existence,

A prayer was whispered into the wind,

The desire to love you was strong,

If ever you feel alone in this world,

Think of me,

And know that nothing has ever captured me,

The way you do,

You are my very own miracle,

The simplest smile on your sweet baby lips,

Can cause an ache deep in my heart,

The smell of your soft baby skin,

Can cause my eyes to fill,

For no reason at all,

Your musical little giggles,

Can fill a whole house with the sound of love,

Pure and true,

The way you fit so perfectly,

Snuggled right in my arms,

So trusting,

It touches my very core,

If ever you wonder,

If ever you doubt,

Don’t.

Think of me,

And know that every single day,

I’m honored…

Honored to be your mommy.

I Will Always Be Your Home

Some days my heart is so full, the words just pour out. This one is for my little ones so that they may always know – they will always have me.

The sun settles over me with a blinding brilliancy,
As I watch you, my babies,
You are the most beautiful beings,
My heart radiates with a magical love,
Certainly there is no greater,
It is yours and always yours,
To carry with you on your travels,
I will always be your home,
Your refuge,
A safe place to hide,
A shelter from life’s storms,
I will always be your strength
On days when you need to fall,
I will be your ear
On days when you feel lost,
I will laugh with you forever,
For your giggles light my way,
I will hold you
Long after you are too big for my lap,
And, my heart will carry you
Long after the sands of time have faded away
You will never be alone,
My loves.
Your momma’s love will fly with the angels and surround you…
On and on and on…