Letting Go – No More Sorries

I’m one of those people who says “I’m sorry” too often. I’m a chronic apologizer. I don’t why. I don’t know when it started or where it came from, but it’s annoying, I know. It’s annoying ME. I’m sorry that I say, “I’m sorry” so often. Ugh. I don’t even think I’m actually apologizing TO anyone most the time. I think it’s me apologizing to ME … for not being perfect enough. I think what I really need to start with is – “Hi. My name is Lori and I’m a perfectionist. It’s a problem. Internally.” They say the first step is admitting that you have a problem, right? So, there’s my confession. Now. I’m ready. To. Let. It. Go. But, first, a purging of the Sorries…

I’m sorry that the house isn’t clean. I’m sorry that dinner isn’t ready. I’m sorry that even though I’m organized, I’m not more organized. I’m sorry that there is clutter on my counters. I’m sorry that I didn’t call you back. I’m sorry that I hate dinner-time. I’m sorry that I don’t love to cook. I’m sorry that I don’t work-out more. I’m sorry that I didn’t take you for a walk today. I’m sorry that I don’t feel like having sex tonight. I’m sorry that I don’t want to go to the playground today. I’m sorry that we don’t go to the pool every day. I’m sorry that we don’t do more crafts/baking/playing. I’m sorry that I don’t rock you to sleep. I’m sorry that my stomach isn’t flat anymore. I’m sorry that my boobs ARE flat now. I’m sorry that I let you eat so many fruit snacks. I’m sorry that I didn’t get the vacuuming done. I’m sorry that we don’t talk as much as we used to. I’m sorry that dinner isn’t ready. I’m sorry that I don’t schedule more play-dates. Sigh. I’m sorry that I just said, “I’m sorry” again…

OH my gosh! It’s a disease. Truly. It’s attacking my brain. I’m so over it. Now, how do I stop it? I’m determined. I’m breaking free, y’all. Break free with me! That bully that lives inside of my brain, that size-4-college-body-version-of-myself-that-didn’t-have-anyone-but-her-to-take-care-of bully, she’s kinda mean. She’s mean to me. It’s so past time to ditch her. Bye-bye brain bully! I’m ready. To. Let. It. Go.

My beautiful cousin, Sharon, over at MommyVerbs, is on to something pretty great. Besides “engaging each day one action verb at a time” (check out her blog – it’s a good one), she’s also declared herself a #JustOkMom. How refreshing. How … kinda awesome. To say, hey, I’m good enough. I’m enough. I’m a Good Enough Momma. I strive to be a better version of myself and I’ll keep doing that. It’s what I do. I’ll keep trying to better myself, but I can stop trying to achieve perfection. It’s unachievable. And, that’s okay. Who wants perfect, anyways?! We can stop apologizing for it and just accept it – we are never gonna be perfect. God made us all perfectly imperfect. We can stop insulting him with all the beating up on ourselves that we’ve been doing. We are on to something here, y’all! A Good Enough movement, maybe? 🙂 Maybe we can be okay being Good Enough Mommas. Maybe we can be okay being Good Enough Wives and Good Enough Friends and Good Enough Housekeepers. The list could go on. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying to let it all go. I’m not saying to be a Slacker Momma. It’s hard work and we gotta keep at it. But, we don’t have to “I’m sorry” ourselves through the day. Let’s just work hard, be the good mommas that we are, get done what we get done and save the rest for another day … without apologizing. Let’s save our Sorries for when we truly need them. As Sharon says on MommyVerbs, “Let’s all, Go. Do that.”