To My A, on Her 1st Birthday

My sweet girl turned 1 a few weeks ago. I don’t think I’ve fully come to terms with it just yet. I’m just in awe of how quickly this year has gone and how much A has changed and grown. The first year is so FULL OF CHANGE. It’s amazing. And, she’s amazing. My sweet Little Miss Peachie. In honor of her first birthday, here’s my first letter to her …

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To my dear baby A,

We made it, Little Miss! It’s been a year! It’s an emotional day for me. I just can’t believe that you, my itty-bitty one, are 1 already. I’m not quite ready for you not to be my tiny baby anymore. I’m just not ready. You, sweet one, made the first year such a joy. From the moment you came into this world (full of fire), you were a happy, sleepy girl. You took it easy on me. Thank you for that! I just love you. I just LOVE you. From the very first second, I’ve loved you in the most fierce way. You are my girl. I still can’t believe it sometimes – that you are here with us, that you are ours. You’ve completed me in best way possible. I just don’t know if my heart can handle anymore! But, I hate how quickly I’m forgetting all of your baby-ness. It all goes by in a blur and, at times, it can be so hard to remember it all. I just want you to know that I loved your baby stage. It can be so hard, but with you, I truly enjoyed it. I wish I could keep a piece of you from each stage of your life, so that I could visit that part of you whenever I want. I’m already missing baby A, as toddler A has taken over. So, for today, here’s a written photograph of my lovely, beautiful, feisty girl … the piece of you for me to bottle and keep … just as you are in my mind right now.

At 1 you are …

  • Giggles. Full of giggles
  • Playing Peek a Boo
  • Playing chase & loving getting caught
  • Huge smiles
  • Fiery. What a temper!
  • My good sleeper. You love your bed.
  • A big eater. You love food!
  • Miss Independent. “Put me down and let me run.” You don’t want to be held. You won’t let me rock you.
  • Playing with toys
  • Loving on your “Betty Baby” doll
  • A giver of funny open mouth kisses
  • Full of big hugs and squeezes
  • Throwing kisses
  • Laughing at your Bubby N. He can make you happier than anyone else.
  • Screaming in the car. Man, you sure hate your car seat.
  • Squealing at Daddy. You adore your Da-Da!
  • Running toward me yelling, “MaMaMaMa”

Oh, my girl. Right now, at 1, I love listening to you babble and talk to your baby-doll. I love the way you scrunch up your nose when you smile … or when you are making a grumpy face. I love how excited you are to see me, and to see your daddy when he gets home from work. You know exactly how to turn it on and light us up! I love your determination. You refuse to be seen as a baby. In your mind, you are big girl and you are gonna do it yourself. I already admire your spirit and zest for life. You make us whole. You have our hearts.

I’ll love you until the end of all time.

— Your Momma

 

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To My N, on your 3rd Birthday

Note: Today is actually N’s 1/2 birthday. He’s 3 and a 1/2 today. I wrote this 6 months ago, on his 3rd birthday, but today seemed like the perfect day to share. Happy 1/2 Birthday, Little Man!

To My N, on your 3rd Birthday,

Three years ago, on this very day, I fell in love. You opened those huge, majestic eyes of yours, looked right into my soul, and I was a goner. I simply handed my heart over to you. At that time, I had no idea how much that would mean, how deep my love for you would run, how much it would grow. Now, I gaze at you, my big 3-year-old boy, with an adoration that is simply unmatched. To me, it’s like gazing at the sun. I’ve never witnessed such innocence, such wonder, such a naturally loving, sweet soul. You are divine. Don’t get me wrong, my dear, I’m under no illusions that you are perfect. You wear me out – even on our very best days! You aren’t perfect, but you are my perfection. You’re a contradiction of the perfectly imperfect. You are THREE — easily angered, quick to react, emotional, resistant to sleep, full of attachment issues, etc. But, it all just makes you YOU.  So, today, on your birthday, I’m feeling sentimental. Of course. Naturally. If I could just bottle you up, capture a piece of you at 3, paint the perfect picture of you… just as you are right now… maybe I could keep that piece of you forever. A written photograph of the boy who has my heart.

At 3, you are …

  • kisses and giggles and silliness

  • snuggle-buggles and bedtime stories

  • lullabies and afraid of monsters

  • a lover of books

  • endless chatter and questions

  • my best helper

  • stuffed animals and your best friend (Curious) “Georgie”

  • running shoes and running fast

  • riding your red tricycle round and round

  • PB&J and cheese quesadillas

  • fake tattoos and stickers

  • chasing Harper

  • a charming little tease

  • muscle shirt wearer

  • family time lover

  • kind soul

  • new big brother

… and SO much more.

My heart aches a little every single day as I watch you grow and change. Though, I know this is something that’s impossible for you to understand right now. I hope that one day you will … as you hold your very own babies. I yearn to keep you little, to keep you mine, to hold you close always. Yet, I enjoy watching you grow and become the boy (and man) that you are meant to be. Still, you’ll always be my baby!

Happy Birthday Favorite Boy!!

I’ll love you till the end of time…

–Your Momma